Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Did I prostitute myself at the Mayor's party?

I wasn't going to blog about the party Tuesday night because it's usually the same-old-same-old thing... but something happened that changed THAT! So, here it is.

Tuesday was the day of the annual Mayor's Open House Party - a fundraising effort put on by the Mayor's Office here in Calgary. Every year I "DJ" the event - which is a bit of a stretch because really it's a glorified cocktail party for which I play background music - music which floats through the air much like in an elevator and is missed by 90% of the audience. You know the type... the music you would never know is there, but you would know it wasn't if it weren't?

Things were pretty status-quo for the most part. As per usual, I ate and drank on Bronco's tab. The food was amazingly better this year compared to last. Last year I'm sure we could have done better by M&M Meats. This year, much, much better.

Every party has its quirks. Usually the Mayor's party is pretty tame, but this year not only did i run into a number of people I know, I also had a run-in with someone I didn't, and would have preferred not to if it hadn't been for the money.

Did I pique your interest?
Are you going to continue reading?

Along about 8:00 this evening a fellow sidled up to the DJ booth and made himself very comfortable in my space. He was wasted... I mean, he'd had a number of wobbleys NOT to anyone's benefit - except maybe his. He didn't have to put up with his behaviour!

Normally I deal with drunks all the time. Most of them are happy drunks and it's pretty easy to keep them sweet by playing a song they like.

Not this fellow.

The first words out of his mouth (following the aroma of many wines past) were (and I'll edit this for the Family Rating on the blog)

"I want you to stay the F____ away from my wife!"

"HUH???", I gasped.

"You heard me. Look, she's sitting right over there. Isn't she hot?? You'd like her, I know you would."

"Er... so you'd like to dedicate a song to her or something?"

"You need some money, right?"

"Don't we all?"

"I'm going to give you some money."

He flips me a $5 bill. I've had tips before for playing songs, and five bucks is healthy. OK, no problem.

"Buddy, I'm in deep with her. I need you to play this song."

"OK, shoot. What is it?"

"I don't remember... Celine something..."


"Yah, that's it... F___ up song."


He pulls out his wallet and grabs a couple $20 bills this time.

"Play the song and can you announce that I'm sorry I was such a P____ and that I really love her?"

Thinking this just isn't going to happen, I had to think fast.

"Um.... this is a cocktail party... just background music... I can play your song, but I can't announce that."

"OK, OK... here, just a minute."

Out comes yet another couple 20s.

"Look, I can't take your money, friend..."

"No, no. You have to. I want you to. Besides, my wife thinks you're cute."

This is going down hill... fast...

"OK, OK... come with me - I want you to meet my wife."

She was sitting but two tables over from the DJ booth, so I ablidged. Maybe she's got her head about her and can talk some sense into this fellow???

"Honey, this is the DJ and he'll play your song."

"Pleased to meet you, DJ... " she extends her hand. I shake it... reluctantly. "Hey, can you play Queen? Bohemian Rhapsody?"

"Sure. Coming right up." My cue to exit stage right!

I played the song. She and her girlfriend go out on the dance floor (which is covered in people, mostly, and buffet tables) "Crank it!" Or I assume that's what they said... and they're all over the floor, dancing. Cheers from the on-lookers at the bar, and now we have a dance party... of sorts.

Where's my new-found friend? Right beside me. "Go dance with her, man!" he says. Again, this was not going to happen. You can't always reason with drunks unless you can speak their language. So, in my bluest-of-collars dialect I suggested that HE dance with his wife and leave ME alone.

Two more 20s. He actually stuffed them in my back pocket, making a comment I won't repeat here.

Just to clarify, this fellow's wife was far more sober than he. She apologized profusely for his behaviour and asked if I was alright. Within the next five minutes, he's back-against-the-wall in tears apologizing to his wife for whatever it was that was going on. She suggested they go home, he resisted, she left, he stayed. She came back. Left again, he stayed, then left.

At the end of the day I was up $125.00 cash. My question is... was it worth it?


Granny said...

I wonder how much he'll remember. Probably think someone picked his pocket.

ipodmomma said...

first Happy Birthday to your mum!

second, through no fault of your own you needed up a bit richer at the end of the evening, and no one was hurt. considering the inebriated state of that chap, it's a blessing.

third, people who drink a lot in public are in a bad place, whether they know it or not. you kept the fellow fairly happy, and also kept a scene from developing that had the possibility to turn very ugly. how it ended for those two later is, well, who knows. but as I said earlier, no one was hurt or terribly humiliated, and I think you earned that $125 for the extra hoo haa you had to endure...

hats off to you TG!

megz_mum said...

That was a tricky situation! Was it worth it? Don't know, but it certainly sounds like you earned it. Sounds like you weren't left with too many options.

oshee said...

I agree with the other commenters. You did earn the money he threw at you.
I think it was really good that you kept the guy from turning things really ugly.

smiley said...

Well a belated Happy Birthaday to your mom, wow 81!

Don't know whether the $125 was worth the trouble you had to go through cos of that fellow but you certainly earned it.

Interesting title :0)

Darlene said...

Whoa, I feel for you! But I honestly think you handled the situation in the best, wisest way possible... good for you!

I know what you mean about that type of music; background, but you may not be aware of how many people are actually aware of it and listening and enjoying it.

Often, when I'm at a restaurant, for example, and music is being played while I eat (either live or "canned"), if it's upbeat I'll tap my fingers on the table or my foot on the floor. But when it's a slower tune, I'll be still because I'm trying to absorb the music because I love it so much. And if a person or persons are doing the performing, they may mistake my expression for boredom...which is just the opposite of what the music is invoking in me.

So take heart--when you're playing for the throng, even background music, the odds are you're touching people out there... they just may not be showing it. Or, like many people I know, they're just too inhibited to show their delight.

traveller one said...

You deserved MORE! LOL!

Granny said...

You've been tagged but only if you want to be!!

Sarah Elaine said...

OMG! I busted a gut laughing at this one!

Poor wife... the hubby sounds like a jerk. Sounds like you handled the situation with grace and charm...and didn't "sell out".

About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
English student, Pottery enthusiast, Yoga novice and lover of all people. I make friends over a warm handshake and a beverage. I discover, every day, someone willing to help me along my path.