I wasn't going to blog about the party Tuesday night because it's usually the same-old-same-old thing... but something happened that changed THAT! So, here it is.
Tuesday was the day of the annual Mayor's Open House Party - a fundraising effort put on by the Mayor's Office here in Calgary. Every year I "DJ" the event - which is a bit of a stretch because really it's a glorified cocktail party for which I play background music - music which floats through the air much like in an elevator and is missed by 90% of the audience. You know the type... the music you would never know is there, but you would know it wasn't if it weren't?
Things were pretty status-quo for the most part. As per usual, I ate and drank on Bronco's tab. The food was amazingly better this year compared to last. Last year I'm sure we could have done better by M&M Meats. This year, much, much better.
Every party has its quirks. Usually the Mayor's party is pretty tame, but this year not only did i run into a number of people I know, I also had a run-in with someone I didn't, and would have preferred not to if it hadn't been for the money.
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Along about 8:00 this evening a fellow sidled up to the DJ booth and made himself very comfortable in my space. He was wasted... I mean, he'd had a number of wobbleys NOT to anyone's benefit - except maybe his. He didn't have to put up with his behaviour!
Normally I deal with drunks all the time. Most of them are happy drunks and it's pretty easy to keep them sweet by playing a song they like.
Not this fellow.
The first words out of his mouth (following the aroma of many wines past) were (and I'll edit this for the Family Rating on the blog)
"I want you to stay the F____ away from my wife!"
"HUH???", I gasped.
"You heard me. Look, she's sitting right over there. Isn't she hot?? You'd like her, I know you would."
"Er... so you'd like to dedicate a song to her or something?"
"You need some money, right?"
"Don't we all?"
"I'm going to give you some money."
He flips me a $5 bill. I've had tips before for playing songs, and five bucks is healthy. OK, no problem.
"Buddy, I'm in deep with her. I need you to play this song."
"OK, shoot. What is it?"
"I don't remember... Celine something..."
"Yah, that's it... F___ up song."
He pulls out his wallet and grabs a couple $20 bills this time.
"Play the song and can you announce that I'm sorry I was such a P____ and that I really love her?"
Thinking this just isn't going to happen, I had to think fast.
"Um.... this is a cocktail party... just background music... I can play your song, but I can't announce that."
"OK, OK... here, just a minute."
Out comes yet another couple 20s.
"Look, I can't take your money, friend..."
"No, no. You have to. I want you to. Besides, my wife thinks you're cute."
This is going down hill... fast...
"OK, OK... come with me - I want you to meet my wife."
She was sitting but two tables over from the DJ booth, so I ablidged. Maybe she's got her head about her and can talk some sense into this fellow???
"Honey, this is the DJ and he'll play your song."
"Pleased to meet you, DJ... " she extends her hand. I shake it... reluctantly. "Hey, can you play Queen? Bohemian Rhapsody?"
"Sure. Coming right up." My cue to exit stage right!
I played the song. She and her girlfriend go out on the dance floor (which is covered in people, mostly, and buffet tables) "Crank it!" Or I assume that's what they said... and they're all over the floor, dancing. Cheers from the on-lookers at the bar, and now we have a dance party... of sorts.
Where's my new-found friend? Right beside me. "Go dance with her, man!" he says. Again, this was not going to happen. You can't always reason with drunks unless you can speak their language. So, in my bluest-of-collars dialect I suggested that HE dance with his wife and leave ME alone.
Two more 20s. He actually stuffed them in my back pocket, making a comment I won't repeat here.
Just to clarify, this fellow's wife was far more sober than he. She apologized profusely for his behaviour and asked if I was alright. Within the next five minutes, he's back-against-the-wall in tears apologizing to his wife for whatever it was that was going on. She suggested they go home, he resisted, she left, he stayed. She came back. Left again, he stayed, then left.
At the end of the day I was up $125.00 cash. My question is... was it worth it?