A post over at Mary's touched me today. For the last number of weeks I've felt extremely overwhelmed by the pace of the world and of the things that are happening in my life.
I slept through a coffee date I had with my friends B. & L. this morning. L. called at 10:30 - woke me up. Immediately I felt very small, like I had let them down. L. sounded almost miphed. Maybe it was because I was still asleep.
Not all was lost, however. L. called again around noon. This time, waking me from an impromtu nap on the couch.
"You up yet?"
"Yes, been up for a while!!"
(all of 14 seconds, but up none the less.)
"B.'s golf was cancelled so he and I are going to Trapper's to catch the soccer game. You're welcome to join us if you wish."
"Great. I'll be there!"
I didn't figure out WHY I was sleeping in and napping today until it hit me. SATURDAY I was on-site at a Stampede Breakfast by 6:00 AM. After returning home from a wedding reception in a little town just south of Calgary, it was 2:30 AM. That was a 20.5 hour day if my math hasn't failed me. And this has been a bit of a habit for me recently.
After lunch, a drink and the game I continued on with my day - out to Chestemere in a complete rain and hail storm to collect a system rental from Friday. The Spanish Catholics were holding a retreat. Great success, and more work to come from that source, I'm sure.
S.'s post today speaks of a runner who's spirit had been broken. I'm feeling a bit like that right now - only I know what it is. B.A. wrote a song back in the 90s that stated:
"I've been down,
I've been beat.
I've been so tired I could not speak.
I've been so lost that I could not see,
I've wanted things that were out of reach."
It's accurate to say this is where I'm at right now. Everything's been a blur for about three weeks and I really can't see the effects of ANY of my efforts. Reflecting on the events of the past little while has been a challenge. There's so much going on I find it difficult to stop and take stock.
Keeping up on blogs is difficult too. I've heard this from many folks, and likely it's a summer thing.
I'm tired, and tired turns to cranky very easily.
Time for bed.