D.J.: June 1990 - October 31, 2006
I said farewell to DJ tonight.
I returned from meetings this afternoon to discover his nasal infection had progressed to bleeding from his nose. There was blood thoughout the house, and lots of it.
I immediately phoned the vet.
They scheduled us for a consult at 5:15 this afternoon. I was hopeful that on consulting the doctors they would suggest we continue with the new anti-biotic, since it had been only three days. Although a veterinary doctor is obligated to suggest all possible options for treatment, we both understood what we were so carefully not saying.
It was time to say good-bye.
The biggest question that ran through my mind was
"How the hell can I in good conscience, play God!?"
Who was to say that he wouldn't bounce back? After all, the treatment was scheduled for 28 days, not 3.
As DJ was sedated, he tried to crawl back into the kennel. He lifted his head as if to say,
"I'm strong, I will make it!"
I stayed with him until he was under the anesthetic. I wonder if it makes me a coward that I didn't stay until the end.
I went to class tonight, probably a good thing too.
I think now is a good time to find comfort in tears.
DJ and Family