Monday, November 28, 2005

Enough about web sites, let's talk about love PART ONE of possibly many...

So... One could consider LOVE to be

(a) A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.


(b) A zero score in tennis.

Here, we'll talk about both.

People in relationships of all kinds - family, friends, partners and even "lovers" - use "love" to cover a number of bases OTHER than love. Love means different things to different people at different times. So if this word is oh so versatile, why do we get a case of the willies when it comes to using it openly, freely and sincerely? I think the point is that most of us DON'T, and THAT'S what scares us about the word "love". We've heard it used out of context, inappropriately and even in hurtful ways enough that we associate negative feelings with a truly positive word.

Imagine what someone might feel when they've heard "I love you" seemingly sincerely for the duration of their relationship only to find their partner engaged in a "physical indiscretion", (I borrow this from S only because it seems so... appropriate!) Or let's say someone wakes up one day to discover they're in an ABUSIVE, not LOVING relationship, yet their partner says "I love you"? How do you expect THAT would mess with someone's preception of "Love"?

Finally, what do you think it would be like to hear "love" in an encouraging way... regularly? I'm guessing pretty darn fine!

Perhaps we could make some RACQUETTE about our NET thoughts on LOVE?


ipodmomma said...

I like tennis, so I thought your last sentence was especially witty...

love... oh, what a word! too many meanings to come up with, yet for me this is all life is about...

but that's a post for another day...

Andrea said...

well that open up a whole can of worms. huge question. dont know how to answer it.
Is love emotional or chemical? is it dependance or freedom?
I have no idea, yet I consider myself to be in love. hmmm

Sarah Elaine said...

I think you've touched on a variety of topics here. The one that stands out for me (as a student of literature, and hence, a person who analyzes a text much the same way a medical examiner looks at a corpse...) is the meaning(s) associated with the word love... or possibly, the strings or connotations attached.

I suppose it really does have to do with what one's experience with both the word and its associated meanings are.

I personally have no trouble signing e-mails to friends and family, "Love, Sarah", but when it comes to romantic love, I vehmently shy away from using that word. You know... love being a "second-hand emotion" and all...

Turtle Guy said...

IPM - You like tennis! Nice to see my posts can accommodate everyone!

ANDREA: - In answer to YOUR question, Of the two, I think love is emotional, among a whole host of other things. I suppose if we were to consider love on a Universal level (incorporating everything the Universe provides, expects in return for balance, so on and so forth)chemistry "is" and would play a factor. (meaning the chemistry of chemicals, not emotions). Having "no idea" and accepting that you "are" simply in love - isn't that part of what love really is - the unexplainable?

SARAH - Ah, second hand emotions. They tend to go second-hand-in-hand with second-hand people, no? I have an idea for the next love post. I think we'll do some dissecting! By way of a preview, if you will, I'm thinking there's a lot more to actual and true "romantic love" than our often twisted sense of "i love you"s. Stay tuned.

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
English student, Pottery enthusiast, Yoga novice and lover of all people. I make friends over a warm handshake and a beverage. I discover, every day, someone willing to help me along my path.