Monday, July 14, 2008

The Naked Plumber - a true story

This just in by email, it made me laugh sooo hard!

You'll remember my friend Utah from a couple posts back, "when's the next train?" - turns out Utah is an accomplished plumber... by life experience rather than by trade.

I don’t write diaries even though people have been telling me on several occasions that I should write a book. Tonight to prevent a sudden nervous breakdown I will write down this one. Note: this is a true story! A story for my best friends.....

I had an absolutely wonderful weekend. Friday evening I walked the Bowness / Bowmont sunset walk with a friend. Later that evening I was invited to watch the fireworks with another friend. Saturday I went out and enjoyed the day in Banff with another friend. Saturday evening I got myself a pizza and just took some time to be home alone and although I thought about cleaning I didn’t. Sunday I went to the stampede with another friend for the day. Sunday evening I walked the Douglas Fir Trail with a friend and went to dinner at Red Lobster. I also talked to my three best friends throughout the weekend. All I could think was what a great weekend and I realized how many great friends I had in my life. Everyone is so completely different but truly amazing people.

So I come home and check facebook of course. Get the usual updates from my friends via telephone. Then I am off to the shower to just feel clean and relaxed after a long hot day. What a way to end this weekend !

I adjust the setting of my water. Get in and turn on the shower. Just as I am starting to get my hair wet the hot water tap that I have fixed (you know all about my frigin shower taps) blew off / brass fitting and all and hit me in the ass. The water was shooting across the tub and up the wall and over the shower curtain. It was like a fountain in a north westerly wind. I ran my naked little self down the stairs from the second floor into the basement to shut off the water line. I ran back upstairs so I could put the tap back together. At this point my bathroom was very flooded. I complain about having over 50 bath towels… Well I used almost every one of them to soak up the mess. As I'm crawling along the floor laying out towels I discover that both my electric toothbrush and blower dryer were plugged in and laying in the flood water. I safely got them out of "my" harms way. All I can picture as I'm crying is someone finding my electo-cuded naked body on the bathroom floor in a pile of wet towels with vice grips in my hand and the bathroom was a mess cause I still didn't finish cleaning the house.

I put the tap back together and got everything cleaned up. Time to turn the water back on. I run downstairs (still naked) to turn it back on and discover that the flooding bathroom has now leaked down two floors into my basement. As I pick my crying naked self back up off the floor after I had a moment. I went back upstairs. Adjusted the small leak and took my shower as if nothing happened. I have safely gotten everything back to normal although I think I’ll let my hair air dry tonight.

I am happy to be back to normal. I cried hysterically a few times until I looked in the mirror and realized I was still naked. Then I laughed until I cried again…. And cried until I looked in the mirror again… and then laughed and you get the picture. If my loan was in I would have called a plumber to fix this right now.

I hope you enjoyed your weekend as much as I did.



Jamie Dawn said...

I pictured the whole ordeal as I read it, and all I could think was that I was SO glad that didn't happen to me!!!!!


Janice said...

Hi Dave,

Yeah, I was picturing what you said about being electricuted naked laying on 50 towels holding a screw driver in one hand and your electric tooth brush in the other. The police would be so confused, lol.


About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
English student, Pottery enthusiast, Yoga novice and lover of all people. I make friends over a warm handshake and a beverage. I discover, every day, someone willing to help me along my path.