Thursday, June 21, 2007

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop? NOT!

Anyone who drinks coffee on a regular basis will tell you that not all coffees are created equal. Over the years I have become a coffee snob of sorts. I'm drinking far less of it than I used to, and as a result I tend to be rather fussy because it's gotta count!

On Tuesday I went for my regularly scheduled massage therapy appointment. My student-therapist and I usually banter about this and that, and on this day we talked about coffee. Clearly, A. is a student. She went on about how much coffee she needs to "keep going", so I asked her what she preferred to drink.

To my shock and near-horror, she said these words:

"MAXWELL HOUSE"

My dear student-therapist...
We must have a little chat.

A few years back, the local independent coffee shop in my neighbourhood ran a weekend theme called "Trailer Park Days". The lunch special was K.D. and Wieners, the drink specials were J.D. and Pilsner, and for dessert you could choose from a King Dong or Twinkie plate. To emphasise the point of the theme, the manager had placed a card table to the right of the counter. On it sat a pot of Maxwell House coffee, a number of those old brown diner-style mugs and of course, the Maxwell House tin. The sign read,

"FREE COFFEE - HELP YOURSELF"

You would think that free coffee in a coffee shop would cripple sales, but that week his coffee sales went up, not down!

So there I was, expressing my shock and horror at A.'s quite obviously BAD choice in coffee:

ME, SARCASTICALLY: "You know what we used to call ground coffee that comes in a tin?"

A., SHEEPISHLY: "Um, what?"

ME, IN A STERN TONE: "Sawdust coffee."

A., QUITE MATTER-OF-FACTLY: "Well, I can't afford anything better..."

ME, CONFIDENTLY: "Not true. You will use LESS of the good coffee and be a happier person for it."

Yesterday I picked up a bag of one of my favourite coffees. A. is in for a treat, not to mention an education, when I return today.


...now THIS is good coffee!


Any coffee that comes bearing its own legend has GOT to be good.


They even post the rules.

Sorry for the fuzzy photo, but I will share with you Rule #3.

"Always use fresh cold filtered water. Some municipal waters have been chemically treated adding an unpleasant taste to your coffee. Remember, coffee is 99% water."

So there you have it, Maxwell House drinkers... that 1% makes it "Good", (or not) "to the last drop".

10 comments:

ipodmomma said...

I think my parents used to drink MH when I was little.. :)))

Misty said...

I checked, the small jar of coffee I purchased about 5 years ago for my mother-in-law who was staying with us is in fact Maxwell House, sorry mother-in-law for such a low quality brand name...

I think I should have gone all out and bought the ones that came with Rules.

Granny said...

I grew up with Maxwell House and the A&P brand.

I'm still cheap at home (too many people, not enough money, and splurge on my trips to a coffeeshop.

Turtle Guy said...

IPM - Yes, and times they do change! Good on ya for posting ages ago about the T.H. brew.

M - Perhaps your MIL could recommend her favourite blend? Maybe MH is it, in which case feed her what she approves of. Keeping the peace is far more important than stirring the coffee pot.

G - Is A & P good? I know Costco has the Kirkland brand (which, by the way is a Starbucks product) and it's quite respectable.

Turtle Guy said...

M - An after-thought: what's the half-life of MH, anyway? Is that why you're keeping it? Let me know what you learn!

Granny said...

I think A&P may still be doing business on the east coast. I'm not sure about Canada.

I was trying to remember the name of their brand when I wrote that comment yesterday. Just dawned on me. I'ts called "Five O'Clock", I'm pretty sure.

Granny said...

I forgot - it's been years but A&P coffee was fine. It was one of the first stores where you could by the beans and use their grinder.

Very cutting edge.

And you're right about Kirkland.

Granny said...

I was close. It's Eight O'Clock. I was 3 hours early but correct about A&P.

Laura said...

Where is Kicking Horse coffee from? I agree with you, life is too short to drink bad coffee.

BTW- you're tagged (see my blog).

Anonymous said...

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English student, Pottery enthusiast, Yoga novice and lover of all people. I make friends over a warm handshake and a beverage. I discover, every day, someone willing to help me along my path.